Sunday, December 19, 2004

my sister

Well, folks, the past week has been one of the craziest of my life, I think. I thought everything would slow down after finals...but I forgot one thing: Christmas. This time of year is supposed to be a time of reflection and celebration of Christ, yet we are so caught up in the hustle and bustle of the season that it is easy to forget this whole Jesus thing. Even without working in normal retail where Christmas rules your life I still have been so busy with work and parties and the musical and everything else.

By the way, the musical went well. 99% of everyone's lines were remembered and came out successfully! A huge praise to God in that many of those who attended were guests of the cast and of the family (that is the church family). God has used it to open many discussions about Christ and Christmas with these people. God, continue to use it!

All right, I am done complaining, I promise. Now I want to become vulnerable and share something that happened this week to me and get your feedback and suggestions. Unlike a woman, when a guy talks about a problem we don't do it just to talk...we want a solution. I'm not attempted to be sexist, but I right? I learned a couple of years ago that a woman will talk about a problem or situation and doesn't want a solution. She just wants to talk. The guy, though, wants to solve the problem for her since that's how men are wired. There's the rub! Well...I digress...

One of the events this week that has shaken my world was my sister calling me Wednesday night and asking me to sing in her wedding. This was her way to announce to me that she's engaged. Normally, this is an easy, joyous part of life. Curiously, it hasn't been in my life this week. For one, the wedding is January third. Three weeks after engagement. I'm all for quick engagements, but there is time that is needed to adjust and everything, right? During Christmas I have to get fitted for a tux and help make arrangements in Nash-Vegas since she's in Oklahoma City.

Secondly, she met this guy over the internet two months ago. Well, she didn't meet him. She knew him from when she lived in Las Vegas four years ago, and two months ago they "found" each other again and have been talking on-line and on the phone since. Last week, she accepted his proposal to be married. My sister's forty-one (fifteen years older than me) and Josh (the groom-to-be) is 47. He is divorced with a twenty-five year old son from the previous marriage. He also has a sixteen month old daughter from a previous relationship where the mother has relinquished all rights to the child.

Friends, I want to be so excited about this upcoming marriage, honestly. I want to be overjoyed at the prospect of my sister finding the love of her life. I'm not though. I am worried about her. I want to protect her and prevent her from experiencing loss, hurt and unhealthy relationships. Right now I feel such apprehension about the entire situation. I want my sister to be happy, but is this the best for her? What do y'all think? Maybe my "papa-bear" instincts are kicking in too hard and I need to let them go and be the supportive brother and enjoy this time with my whole family? Maybe I need to put the fear of God into Josh and tell him that if he hurts my sister I'll kill him?

Any thoughts?

being a confused brother


by the way...spell checker thinks the word "y'all" should be spelled Yale. Yeah, that's comedy!

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