I know this may shock some of you in the web world, but there ARE times where I have no idea what to do. I know that I may seem confident, but much of the time it's just a show. Wow...that's a confession...I hope everyone still trusts my leadership. It's not as if I want to be deceptive, but many times leaders don't know exactly what to do. They made a decision with the available information and then confidently share that decision. People follow not because they like the idea, but because it SOUNDS like the leaders knows what he/she is talking about. He/She sounds confident in what they are saying...we can trust them. (For this leadership principle, see Star Trek: The Next Generation)
I am at one of those points in my life. There is a decision that I probably need to make, yet I'm not sure what to do. Each side of the coin has risks and benefits. So, here I am with this frank confession, still wondering what in the world I need to do regarding this decision. I've weighed the pros and cons, thought and prayed about it. Even with all this thought and prayer, I am still undecided. I can go ahead and make a decision...but is it the right one? That's the question that haunts me right now.
Perhaps, though, instead of acting impulsively like I can so often do (I blame it all on that pesky Y chromosome), I can just wait. Wait? Yes, I said wait. We do not have to hurry up and make a decision. We can wait upon God's answer to us. Honestly, though, that's pretty hard. God has made men, especially me, action oriented. I want to act. I hate hesitation, and waiting...well, that's pretty foreign to me. Yet, when we look at the Biblical example I am in the wrong (which isn't all that unusual:
"I waited patiently for the Lord, he inclined and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand." --Psalm 40:1-2David plainly tells us that God inclined Himself toward him and heard his cry. Perhaps that's a lesson for all of us. We want to act; I want to act. I want to make this decision and see what results from it. Perhaps God is trying to get me to wait on Him and to listen for His still, small voice penetrate my confusion? Regardless, I know I can trust God to direct all my ways and make my paths straight. I just have to trust and to patiently wait...that, my friends, is the hard part.
I am amazed at how much energy has to be expended for one to wait which can be defined as doing nothing. One would think acting would use more energy and cause more frustration, but we've all experienced that waiting for something can be torture and incredible work. Yet, it's in the waiting that we will seek God and grow in Him. It's in those times where we are utterly dependent upon Him. It's in those times that we learn about faith, hope and trust. Perhaps waiting isn't as bad as I thought before. I think I might have to try it more often...
until Christ is formed in us...