Monday, February 28, 2005


God is our refuge, an ever-present help in times of trouble. --Psalm 46:1

Today is a day that I am thankful that Christ is the refuge in which I hide. My mom called me yesterday and informed me of some news: my aunt--who has been a spiritual mom to me since I became a believer, was in the hospital scheduled to have surgery for a colon blockage on Monday. Apparently it was a very serious surgery and mom was worried. I prayed with her and told her to tell me how everything goes.

Today, my mom leaves a message on my answering machine: "the problem with Edie wasn't her colon. They found a tumor on her intestine and had to remove it. We should know whether it is malignant or not by tomorrow." Great...just what I needed to hear. This past summer it was thought my mom had breast cancer--which was a misdiagnosis, but still created a week of hell for our family, a dear friend was diagnosed with cancer two months ago--and has undergone surgery and removed all of it, and spiritual mom might have cancer.

I'm tired of pain. I'm tired of suffering. I'm tired of cancer. I told Jess tonight that I am boycotting cancer from now on. No one I know and love can get cancer. It's against my rules. Unfortunately, life doesn't play by my rules.

So here I am, once again soberly aware that my only hope and refuge is Christ. Here I am staring at my screen with blurred vision trying to grasp the vastness of reality.'s all right. Christ will hold me and my family so close during this...He is the One thing we can trust in. All else will fail and fall, yet our Savior and Sustainer is the Solid Rock which will whether through all storms unscathed and unmarred. This one thing I know: Christ is our refuge.

Before the throne of God above
I have a strong, a perfect plea;
a great High Priest whose name is Love,
who ever lives and pleads for me.

until Christ is formed in us...


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