tears of a clown

Louisville, Kentucky. (DRP) This weekend Southern Seminary is hosting a Creative Ministries Conference on its campus and, wonder of wonders, I had the opportunity to work in the bookstore. What this means, in reality, is 1400 extra people on campus, many of them in costume--clown costumes. There are officially many more clowns on campus than ever before!

Irony of ironies, though, I've honestly never heard so many screaming children in my life--okay, perhaps I am embellishing some, but not much. Isn't ironic, don't you think, that many people's, including children's, worst fears is a person who, by nature and vocation, desires to make children happy and laugh. The thoughts of a circus would not be blissful ones of acrobats, incarcerated animals doing tricks in tutus or of watching freakish hairy women while eating peanuts. They would be a nightmarish thought of clowns, clowns, clowns everywhere; a nightmare to rival that of Samara or that freaky Asian kid from The Grudge. Great sorrow is the one who is scared of clowns...

Honestly, though, shouldn't there be some kind of class at the Conference to help clowns deal with this kind of rejection. Imagine you are attempting to spread happiness, laughter and joy to an abundance of children only to have several of them screaming at the top of their lungs. You're trying to tell them your name is not Pennywise but to no avail; they scream on. Your attempts to entertain and give children a needed, surreal break from reality has failed. You, my friend, as a clown, a bearer of goodness, have failed. Hi, I'm Blinkey and I'm a failed clown. Hellow Blinkey...we all fail down here, Blinkey!

Surely there is some kind of support group for these clowns who cannot handle the exact opposite reaction they hoped to encounter; grief, fear and sorrow in abundance where gladness, happiness and joy were to be. If they do not offer a coping class at this conference, they truly need to. We should write our representatives to make sure this issue is addressed.

Although, this could be a new, good technique for evangelizing children. Send in the clowns and scare the mess out of some yard-gnomes and then tell them hell is full of clowns. "No one want to go to hell, do they?" After the tear-streaked faces all shake their heads a resounding no, then an evangelist could present the gospel of Jesus--no need for hell, kiddos! We could call it "Get Jesus or Get Clowned!" Excellent.

until Christ is formed in us...

--mike

DISCLAIMER: In all seriousness, though, I have seen some very good ministry to children done by clowns, so I do not mean to offend with my cheek. If you are involved in a clown ministry, continue on. Do not let a few, misguided Stephen King infected children and adults derail you. You do make us laugh and bring us joy.

Send in the clowns!