the church office...

For the past six months or so, many of my friends and co-workers (now former co-workers), have been enraptured in a show called The Office. They kept telling me I would love it and needed to watch it. I'm not a bandwagon fan, so I solidly held my ground and refused to be assimilated. Desiring to be an informed malcontent (unlike many Christians when they decide something is bad or evil), I decided to watch a few episodes. I do admit it was somewhat funny (I did not see the hilarity that everyone else saw). The tension between Jim and Pam is cute. Michael is incredibly annoying. Dwight...well Dwight is just sad (Although he likes Battlestar Galactica, which is a plus).

As I was watching it last night (I'm still trying to see the hilarity, see), I had a vision from the LORD. Okay, not really, but I remembered many a conversations I had with one Brian Sirles, the former Worship Pastor from our old church. His idea was a show about a church office that included all aspects of church life. I mentioned that it was already done in the 80's when it was called "Amen". Brian dismissed the David Spade imitation and said that it could be an extremely funny show. Brian's idea, I must say, was not based on anything from The Office. Watching The Office, though, I think Brian's idea could really fly and do well.

For research purposes, I youtube'd "Church Office". Oh my goodness, the pile of cheese that I saw on that website should never be spoken of in public! Apparently many had the idea before Brian did. Unfortunately, the quality of writing and acting was horrible in the clips that I watched. They so closely followed The Office that any true originality was lost. Every character in every was just a copy of characters from the show. Can you imagine a Pastor like Michael on The Office? Well, actually we probably could. That's kind of sad, eh?

Instead of these cheesy 4-minute clips, we should work toward creating an actual network version of The (Church) Office. It is still the mock-umentary style, but is its own original show. We could have Kirk Cameron play the Preaching Pastor (or Senior Pastor depending on your ecclesiology) of a medium size mega-church. I could make some calls and see if Roma Downey is available since Touched By An Angel got the cut. If desperate, we could cast Dog the Bounty Hunter...he's a Christian, right? He has some time on his hands. Wow! This could be a hit! Each character will have their own nuances, with little borrowed from the original US edition aside from the general concept, the set, costuming, props, etc. After all, the church should look like the business world, right?

The question will be what network. Major networks would require the show to allow beer commercials and we couldn't have that! Although, if the Hollywood Writer's Strike continues...that could work in our favor. If all else fails, we could put it on TBN. Of course, Kirk Cameron will have to use Joel Osteen's Motivational Speaking, not Preaching, for the Church Office and Paula White's Conflict Resolution for Me and for Me in order to appease the higher ups at the network.

Here are some story ideas:
1) Field Trip Day - The staff goes on a field trip to do some evangelism. Apparently there is a new Mexican Restaurant that has opened up and the Pastor wants to try it out, I mean evangelize there.
2) Shot Down - An entire episode where the Youth Pastor throws out ideas to get kids saved including a Skate Park, an Amusement Park, etc. Each idea is shot down one after another. The show ends with the Youth Pastor leaving, depressed. He heads to McDonald's to pick up dinner where a ton of his youth are. He says "Hi!" and then leaves to eat at home with his dog.
3) Boycott - The church office decides to boycott some event. The episode really writes itself!

If there is anyone who can help with the funding, we can get this project off the ground! What started off as an idea in one Worship Pastor's mind has spiraled out of control to a Network Program with all kinds of merchandising: bracelets, magazines, bibles, t-shirts, books and coffee mugs (World's Greatest Preacher Mug).

On second thought, perhaps we should leave this entire idea in the can...

-mike